Rejecting and Accepting

Wisdom Teachings
The Journey Inside

Each one of us is inseparably connected with the universal consciousness. Through self-created illusions, however, we build separating walls. We have separated ourselves by our own definitions and demarcations. We circumscribe ourselves from other people in order to protect ourselves and be different from them. The barriers become particularly solid when we feel superior to others by way of power, money or intellect. Thus we erect more and more walls, conditioning ourselves and cutting us off from the stream of life, and we suffer from feelings of suffocation. The walls arise out of ignorance, and it is virtually impossible to penetrate them. They also form a kind of protection, like the shell offers protection to the chick until it has grown enough and doesn’t need it any longer. Our walls have to be broken by ourselves, it cannot be done by anyone else.

Through our understanding we might have a longing for unity and synthesis, but when we try to express unity in our life, we realize clear blockages in ourselves: We prefer cooperating with people whom we like and who have similar views like we have. With others whose viewpoints we don’t share we have problems. We quickly assume that they are not so well-disposed towards us and might work against us. We develop an image of them nourished by fears, and from this conflicts develop. Krishna says: “Don’t judge the person by deciding he is bad. There are no bad persons, there are only persons with a bad behaviour.” The other is just a human like we are. We therefore should accept him and see how we get along with his nature. This wisdom arises in us, when we see the brother in the other and don’t reject him.

The more we include other opinions into our view the more we move towards the vision of unity. When the mental barriers fall, our soul gets the feeling of expanse and fresh air.

However, if we reject people or situations, we will also experience rejection. Through rejecting we hurt others. Those who hurt others will also be hurt themselves – physically, emotionally or mentally. Every feeling of hurt has its consequences; we get wounds and develop hardness. Rejection is the contrary to inclusion. It is a restriction with which we lock ourselves up. We lock up the door with an iron bolt, and so we suffer. In some future we will have to learn to accept all we reject. From a spiritual viewpoint even rejection of evil is ignorance. When good rejects evil, then evil will also reject good.

Out of a wrong understanding or pride some even reject help coming from outside and would like to do everything themselves. They don’t realise that the outer help represents a channel through which the totality of life is working. A life that gives also takes, the giver is also a receiver in the end.

In future we will increasingly encounter the situations we reject until we learn to accept them. For example, there are people who out of fear don’t want to get into relations and they say, “I don’t want to get involved into a relation, I don’t want to marry.” Because of the present dominant male energy many women have experienced rejection, so that now they reject men. Even partners are looked for and then rejected again. Esoterically looking for a partnership is the search of the personality for its higher self. When we align ourselves to our higher self and experience the touch of the soul, we fuse with the soul. Then we have found the eternal partner and will be a good partner for all those with whom we come into contact.

Refusing, not wanting and not liking doesn’t work on the path of yoga, for the act of not wanting something is a limitation. Our resistance brings us many problems. It is all right to use our discrimination to avoid something, but we shouldn’t reject or hate anything. We can experience life better when we learn to accept it as it comes. It is said that the Master meets us through unpleasant persons and unexpected situations. If we see the Master in them and can accept them in his sense, the unpleasantness disappears and it becomes pleasant.

In the higher circles there is no rejection, but synthesis. Love and understanding lead to the neutrality which knows no criticism and sees seeming opposites as complements of the whole. Love accepts others, no matter if the others accept and like us or reject us. When we have a problem with someone, the behaviour of the other is his problem; if we don’t behave correctly towards him, it becomes our problem. In society there are always people who behave differently from us. It is our challenge to work out a basis of agreement and cooperation. In the garden of the Master no one is rejected, all are welcome.

On each plane we have to find the neutral point of equilibrium. The path of yoga is not the path of light or of darkness, but the middle course in between, where both meet. As long as we hurt others physically, emotionally or mentally, we are not suited for the spiritual path and cannot open the door to the heart. The wisdom teachings say that in spiritual life particularly a hurting behaviour towards women blocks the progress. The kundalini energy can only ascend when no feminine energy is hurt, since it is the energy of the Divine Mother.

Every hurt inflicted in the outer is a blockage of the inner process. We may believe that our ajna or heart centres are functioning, but as long as the energies of the lower centres aren’t purified we cannot progress. For healing of emotional wounds the colours rose and light blue are helpful. However, in order to transcend wounds and to connect with the higher consciousness, we can contemplate on the colour orange.

When we are hurt physically the wound is healing with time. But when we hurt someone with speech, this cuts a wound which goes deeper, hurts a long time and is difficult to be healed. A Greek philosopher said, “Don’t care because of the poison of the tongue of the serpent, take care of the poison of the human tongue.” Often we know what we shouldn’t have said or shouldn’t have done. After having done so, we find ourselves and regret it. Knowing is not the solution, for even if we know that we hurt others with our speech, it keeps on happening. The solution lies in spiritual exercises, not in the feeling that I shouldn’t do this or that. If we are regular with our basic exercises, we become stronger and will be able to overcome these problems. Discipleship is a discipline to carry out what we know in our speech and action as much as possible.

He who can absorb and neutralise critical speech rises above the personality and stabilises in soul awareness. Silence is a good answer to a hurting and critical speech. However, we also can hurt someone mentally by not speaking, by ignoring him, by not answering him, also in written, or by not addressing something the other is waiting for that we communicate to him, and thus we are already inflicting a hurt on him. When someone comes to us and greets us and we turn away without saying hello to him, he gets hurt. Thus from small things will spring up big differences. It is part of non-violence on the spiritual path that we greet the other and thus make contact with his soul; then we can be silent and wait if an answer comes to which we can respond. Initiates speak with pure intent, their speech resurrects, reconstructs and inspires.

Sources: K.P. Kumar: Sarasvathi. The Word / notes from seminars / The World Teacher Trust - Dhanishta, Visakhapatnam, India.